My oldest daughter discovered lying recently. I'm not sure how it happened exactly- whether she learned it by example from the kids at her preschool, or whether she developed it all on her own out of a simple desire to avoid getting a time-out.

But either way, she's definitely started doing it. If I tell her to stop fussing about not getting a lollipop, she'll keep right on fussing but she'll change the official reason for it. So instead of saying “I want a lollipop, I want a lollipop,” she'll start telling me she misses her friends or that she's cold. And then if I ask her what would make it better, can you guess what the answer is? That's right- a lollipop!

Or else she'll tell me she isn't fussing at all, she's “only shivering.” Or “I was just joking, Dada.” You get the picture.

The difficulty I'm running into is this- I can't explain it so she'll understand what I'm talking about. I'll tell her that lying is telling Dada something that isn't real. She'll nod solemnly, and I'll ask her what lying is. She'll invariably say “I don't know” or “I'm confused.”

Is lying just a concept that's too abstract for her to understand at this stage in her development? Or is she actually lying when she says she doesn't know what lying is? I don't know what the story is at this point, but I'm going to have to get a handle on it somehow.