Despite some beliefs, an annual family reunion isn’t meant to be a place to create a barroom brawl or pick up women. It is, however, a good time for you to get to know your kin, establish some sort of family togetherness, and put faces to people’s names. If anything else, it’s a good way to prevent your kid from asking, “Who’s that dead man, Mama?” at the next funeral you attend.

We’ve had an annual family reunion for our big family since before I was born, and it’s usually pretty good. Since I’m now the booker of the place, I’m a bit more conscious of it than I’ve been in the past. Here are a few tips in holding a family reunion that doesn’t result in bloodshed or pregnancy.

Hold it outdoors. If somebody wants to offer their house as a location, that’s fine, but they might end up with a hefty cleanup job. If you have it at a park, you can use pavilions, picnic tables, and barbecue pits without worrying about breaking Aunt Rose’s favorite gravy serving boat.

Make it BYOB. This way, stinky old Uncle Bill won’t get hammered unless he brings his own sauce, which we all know he probably won’t.

Have some entertainment ready. Sure, your own stimulating conversation should be enough, but between the generation gaps, bored kids and other factors you’ll need something to fall back on. We’ve always brought waffle ball equipment, a karaoke machine or boom box, a few washer games and horseshoe sets to our family reunions. Bring whatever you think will be a hit—bubbles, kick balls and kites are great for the little ones as well.

Assign food. Unless you want everyone to bring their own meals—which will probably warrant everybody bringing sub sandwiches and buckets of KFC the kids are going to whine about—make it a potluck and have everybody bring a dish. Be sure to have plenty of sides, desserts, and finger foods like sliced veggies and fruits or chips. Have everyone pitch in for the meat if it’s too expensive, or assign it to multiple people.

Hold some kind of family ritual. Establishing a tradition will help create lasting memories—and maybe offer an incentive for returning visitors next year to come on time. Hold a bet on when a specific family member will arrive, take photos of different generations or each individual nuclear family, have a banner there for everyone to sign, make t-shirts—whatever. As long as it’s personal, everyone should be able to get a kick out of it.